Page 102 - AVN June 2013

DVD Reviews 6.13.qxd 5/20/13 5:46 PM Page 102
editor’s choice
editor’s choice
THE KARATE KID XXX: A DREAMZONE PARODY
ases
AAAA 1/2
DreamZone
Entertainment/Vantage
Distribution
VantageDist.com
Director: Van Anderson
Cast: Diana Prince, Katie St.
Ives, Gia Grace, Anissa Kate,
Tommy Pistol, Evan Stone,
Michael Vegas, Billy Glide, Ralph
Long; Ron Jeremy (Non-Sex
Role). 82 Min.
Category: Parody - Comedy
All the ingredients are assembled.
The source material is a beloved
1984 teen comedy that spawned
three sequels and a contemporary
remake. Add in a script by adult
auteur David Stanley. Mix with
Tommy Pistol and Evan Stone
goofing on said script in the lead
roles, surrounded by an assort-
ment of hot women of varied
types. Cook up the requisite five
sex scenes and it’s a recipe for
(selling like) hotcakes.
In brief, the Karate Kid (Pistol)
is Daniel, a transplanted Jerseyite. Mom (Diana Prince) has come out
to the San Fernando Valley to make it as a porn star. She’s already
hooked up with a big-dicked Neanderthal (Billy Glide) who spends
his time operating a karate school when he isn’t banging Mom and
bashing Daniel.
The local boys are just as crude; our hero gets shoved around when
he comes across Michael Vegas and Ralph Long putting busty beauty
Anissa Kate through an initiation rite, which involves double
penetration (it is Porn Valley, after all). Daniel gets a little sympathy
from Katie St. Ives (donning a blond wig to play the Elisabeth Shue
part) before he’s chased off.
Daniel needs help, and he finds it in the form of Mr. Miyagi
(Stone), a pervy karate expert who’s got a secret move that will van-
quish all foes: the Golden Parachute. Said tactic is the main joke here,
so we won’t give away exactly what it is, but it does involve a part of
Stone’s anatomy (which, by the way, we get to see up close in his sex
scene with pretty Gia Grace).
The best dialog, though, is an inside joke that pokes fun at the pro-
duction itself: “When’s the tournament?” Daniel asks. “Tomorrow,”
Miyagi says. “What? I mean, what happened to the whole, like, mon-
tage?” Daniel says, summing about half of the original movie. Miyagi
Daniel needs help, and he
finds it from a pervy Mr.
Miyagi (Evan Stone)
”
Karate Babes Diana Prince (left) plays the Kid’s mom.
Also in the cast are Gia Grace and Anissa Kate (right).
answers, “No time. Ten-page script. Only time for sex and barely
enough time for chopstick scene.”
Despite the hurried pace, director Van Anderson does manage to
work in a short training montage, which Pistol makes entertaining.
That and his sex scene with St. Ives are the highlights.
—Iris Blocks
MOVIES
MOVIES
MOVIES
Talking Shop
WICKED PICTURES
Wickedb2b.com
D: Stormy Daniels. Cast: Alektra Blue, Bailey Blue, Jessa
Rhodes, Mackenzee Pierce, Stormy Daniels, Others. 94 Min.
Category: Comedy
AAAA
Stormy Daniels shines when directing light come-
dies—especially when she is part of the cast.
Centered around a gossipy hair salon, the ladies, as
per porn tradition, use their proximity to relate stories
of their exploits. Daniels treats her man Marcus
London to a threesome with herself and likewise busty
hooker Mackenzee Pierce. —Dirty Bob
102 | AVN.com | 6.13
Young & Glamorous 4
JULES JORDAN VIDEO
JulesJordanVideo.com
D: Chris Streams. Cast: Remy LaCroix, Cindy Starfall,
Cameron Dee, Presley Hart, Mischa Brooks, Others. 157
Min.
Category: Young Girl
AAAA
Young, cute, all-natural up-and-comers get jackham-
mered by top porn studs—but first they show off their
forms, and fashion sense, in flatteringly lit tease
sequences. With Remy LaCroix, Presley Hart and
Mischa Brooks in the cast, fans of slender brunettes
will be particularly gratified. —Iris Blocks
(longer reviews on AVN.com)