Page 102 - AVN January 2020

3. STOP CHEATING
If you’re cheating on the person you’re supposed to be in love with, it’s time
to stop. If you’re trolling for other married cheaters on sites like Ashley Madison,
you should choose between three options:
A) Go to a marriage counselor or sex therapist and work through it with the
help of a third person.
B) ”Open up” the relationship to other people, start swinging, and go “poly”
by having an open marriage and multiple partners with no guilt.
C) Break the fuck up and stop torturing each other.
4. GO OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Try something different, even if it sounds “wild.” If you’re married or in a long-
term relationship, do something crazy—like a “walk through” at a swinger’s
party, just to take a look and get turned on. You don’t have to participate. Just
watch. If it’s your first time, it will blow your mind. And it will turn you on for later.
You don’t have to go back again and have sex with a bunch of other couples,
unless, of course, you want to.
Have sex in a new place. Don’t have sex the same way, the same time, and
in the same position. Try Tantric sex. Tantra is a whole, fascinating sex world
unto itself. And it’s fun. Your sex life will never be the same.
“Learn something new together,” says Dr. Jess. “Break your routine and try
a new activity together (salsa dancing, knife throwing) that challenges you to
expand your comfort zones. In doing so, you may find that your feelings for one
another shift toward excitement and curiosity as you reactivate the chemicals
in your brain associated with new love.”
5. SKIP THE APPS AND MEET IRL
If you’re single and trying to date, get out more. Meet new people in real life
instead of getting ghosted, bread crumbed and benched by the 50 percent
of people on Tinder and other dating sites looking for relationships who are
pretending they aren’t already in relationships or married. Meet people in
“target rich” environments. If you are a foodie, go to food and wine events. If
you love movies, go to film festivals; books, go to book festivals.
6. BE KINKIER TOGETHER
If you’re in a relationship, make a list of five sexual fantasies you want to try.
Have your partner do the same. Out of the five, see which fantasies match,
discuss first and mentally prepare beforehand, then just do it. Establish a
comfort zone, like the performers at Kink.com always do, by using the words
“green light,” “yellow light” and “red light” to stop at any time and to keep
things from getting awkward.
7. ADVICE FOR THE LADIES
Stop focusing on your body imperfections, and instead focus on your pleasure.
When a man is having sex with you, he is focusing on what turns him on, not
what doesn’t. “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight, because my stomach
looks fat,” said no man ever.
Wishing you a happy, fun, pleasurable, playful and orgasmic new year.
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