Page 92 - AVN August 2013

editor’s choice
BEYOND FUCKED:
A ZOMBIE ODYSSEY
AAAA 1/2
a range of emotion we
haven’t previously seen
”Rotten in particular displays
from her, and she’s totally
believable as a kickass
bounty hunter.
MOVIES
Smash Pictures
SmashPictures.com
D Di ir re ec ct to or r: : Tommy Pistol
C Ca as st t: : Bonnie Rotten, Annie
Cruz, Nikki Hearts, Phoenix
Askani, Asphyxia Noir, Tommy
Pistol, Mark Wood, John Strong;
Melissa Hill, Anthony Rosano,
David Lord, Peter O’Tool, Rick
Garcia, Kato (Non-Sex Roles).
117 Min.
C Ca at te eg go or ry y: : Drama
Director Tommy Pistol wastes no
time getting viewers into the hot
action in his zombie thriller,
Beyond Fucked. Even as the
Emergency Broadcast System
buzzes in the background, he’s
getting a b.j. from girlfriend
Bonnie Rotten, who then
proceeds to mount him in both
directions, rubbing her clit until
she squirts, then continuing the
bounce. After some hot oral
action, Pistol fucks her missionarily
before she climbs aboard one
more time, then leans over for
spoon before taking his spew
right on her tongue.
Sensitive viewers might then
want to switch over to the
(included) all-sex version of the
film, since immediately following
the fuck, Pistol walks in on a
zombified Annie Cruz chewing
on someone’s bloody heart and
guts before attacking Pistol,
throwing him through a wall and
chomping on his jugular—and
that’s all before the opening
credits!
Cut to six years later—and the
movie’s back story, which involves
If Looks Could Kill Bonnie Rotten, dressed for battle;
inset, one of the movie’s many interesting makeup jobs.
a diet drug gone horribly wrong, causing anyone who took it to lose
weight, all right, but also develop a hunger for human flesh—as told
from the viewpoint of Rotten, now turned bounty hunter, looking
for the few “pure” male sperm donors still in existence.
After chopping off lecher Anthony Rosano
’s hand in a nightclub
that keeps zombies caged and tied up for entertainment, Rotten
hooks up with barmaid Nikki Hearts on a bare mattress bounded by
blood-stained walls, tonguing her pierced nipples and kissing and
licking her all over. Rotten licks Hearts’ pussy until she screams in
delight—and then Hearts returns the favor, following up with pussy-
poking with a Rabbit and a regular dildo. The play continues along
those lines, finishing with scissor fucking and a Magic Wand applied
to Rotten’s clit. (Good thing electricity survived the apocalypse!)
Rotten reports to her boss (Mark Wood) that she’s nearing her
target, but Wood’s busy turning Phoenix Askani into “the new
Mother Mary,” to whom, he says, “people will kneel down and
pray”—but that might just be an excuse for him to get into her
pants. After a sloppy b.j., Wood fucks her
missionarily as she begs for his cock, then
doggie, until she takes over with cowgirl and
reverse. Spoon follows, followed by a splooge
to her tongue.
Back at the nightclub, it’s zombie wrestling
time. Impressario David Lord calls for the
next victim, er, braveheart to give it a shot,
and Rotten volunteers ... until she sees that
the zombies are ex-boyfriend Pistol and ex-bud
Cruz. But then, pitted against a behemoth
more than twice her size, she triumphs
nonetheless—and as her “prize,” gets to take
both Pistol and Cruz back to her room, where
she shoots them up with adrenaline and lets
them fuck. Viewers might be a touch put off by the gray skin and
scabby make-up, but it turns out that zombies fuck pretty much like
the rest of us, and after exchanging oral pleasures, Pistol takes Cruz
missionarily and spoon before shooting his load—as Rotten sits on the
sidelines and mourns her lost friends ... before snapping their necks.
The final scene, between Asphyxia Noir and John Strong, doesn’t
seem connected to the plot, but that doesn’t stop it from being hot.
She blows him in another blood-stained room, then mounts him
forward and backward, spreads for spoon, raises up for doggie ... but
as he’s about to blow his load in her mouth, Rotten breaks in and
collects his spew for Wood’s experiments. Of course, it probably
doesn’
t help that she has to shoot Strong, thus guaranteeing no future
supply of the milky white stuff ... but that’s life in the post-apocalypse!
And of course, she burns down the nightclub as she leaves.
All in all, it’s a hell of an effort—and one that will likely look
much different in its R-rated cut. Rotten in particular displays a
range of emotion we haven’t previously seen from her, and she’s
totally believable as a kickass bounty hunter. Of course, the makeup
and blood might be off-putting for some, but on a purely sexual
level, this movie rocks! —Mark Kernes
92 | AVN.com | 8.13