Page 94 - AVN April 2013

DVD Reviews 04.13.qxd 3/19/13 7:29 PM Page 94
editor’s choice
THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN
COLLECTOR’S EDITION
ases
AAAAA
DISTRIBPIX
Distribpix.com
D Di ir re ec ct to or r: : Radley Mezger
C Ca as st t: : Constance Money, Gloria
Leonard, Jaqueline Beudant,
Casey Donovan, Jenny Baxter,
Marlene Willoughby, Mary
Stuart, Nancy Dare, Terri Hall,
Tia von Davis, Jamie Gillis, Ras
Kean, Michael Gaunt, Peter
Andrews. 86 Min.
C Ca at te eg go or ry y: : Classic
MOVIES
MOVIES
The roughly 40 years since The
Opening of Misty Beethoven was
shot have not been kind to this
all-time classic, and Distribpix, in
”The real attraction of this
new edition is the extras
creating a Blu-ray edition of the
movie, has done its best to
remaster the film, shot on Super
16mm, but the film’s age does
show through. Fortunately, this
latest packaging of the film has
plenty that classic porn fans will
want to see—and own.
For those who need a little
refresher on the plot, it revolves
around iconclastic sex researcher
Dr. Seymore Love’s (Jamie Gillis)
chance meeting with the tomboy-
ish Misty (Constance Money) in
a French porno theater, where she
offers him a handjob in the
theater or a straight fuck for $50
at a nearby brothel (where all the
hookers in residence seem to
know him)—but one thing she
absolutely won’t do is give him a
blowjob. Intrigued, Gillis offers
her a job and a flight to New
York City, where he wants to turn
her into this year’s “Goldenrod
Girl” at his “school.” In prepara-
tion for Money’s introduction to
milionaire Lawrence Layman (Ras
Kean), he trains her in various sex
94 | AVN.com | 4.13
acts, including how to take cum on the face without flinching, and of
course, how to give blowjobs.
A quick trip to Rome, during which Money has her muff munched
by the pilot’s wife, Tia von Davis, also has her giving a guy a b.j. on the
way to the opera, and later fucking her arranged “date” in the ladies
room—a coupling that becomes a prime gossip item all over Europe.
Then Gillis has actress Terri Hall show Money how to pleasure an
upcoming art gallery owner date by engaging in hot girl/girl action with
Gillis’ assistant, Jaqueline Beudant—and then, of course, Hall has to
fuck Gillis in another scorching coupling. The Money/Casey Donovan
gallery scene is beautifully shot, and Money does a fine job in the
clinch.
But Money begins to display feelings for Gillis, even as he intensifies
her training (look for lots of b.j. action) for the rave/orgy he takes her
to, where she finally gets to meet Kean and his main squeeze Gloria
Leonard. Leonard primes the pump with a little pussy-licking (which
Money gladly reciprocates) and soon they’re a trio of tangled bodies—
and Money gets to try out her new strap-on, sandwiching Kean between
Leonard and herself.
But after hearing Gillis belittle her, Money leaves him for Kean—
which brings Gillis back to the same theater where he met Money,
hoping she’ll appear, and when she doesn’t, he flies back to New York,
still pining for her. Of course, she does reappear, disguised as one
of his maids, and blows him—as he insults her—like old times,
leading to a hot sexual finale
One thing that was much more common in early porn, and
highly in evidence here, is the sexual activity that goes on in the
background of almost every scene. The Internet Adult Film
Database lists 27 different “sex scenes” in the production, but that
number barely scratches the surface. In addition to the screwing in
the background, many are simply momentary glimpses of, for
instance, a cock being sucked or a woman atop a man, inserting
his cock cowgirl style—and as is also typical of early porn, the full
sex scenes themselves, with a couple of exceptions, are rather short.
But with all that said, the real attraction of this new edition is
the extras. Of prime interest is an exceptionally informative 50-
minute documentary featuring interviews with Leonard, Drs.
Carol Queen and Robert Lawrence, camera operator Paul
Glickman, music director George Craig (whose music will be
familiar to most veteran fans) and others involved in the produc-
tion behind the scenes; plus audio commentary from Metzger
himself with a retrospective of his career, as well as plenty of
backstage footage and clips from newsreels of the ‘70s that put the
movie in perspective beautifully. Also noteworthy is the discussion
of deleted scenes, and the fact that two versions of some scenes
were shot, one for the hard version, the other for soft.
Other top-notch extras include newspaper ads, reviews and
radio spots for the film, Jamie Gillis’ final interview as well as a
retrospective of his career, and a short about Constance Money’s
life before and after porn—and how the producers located her after
all these years.
The whole Misty Beethoven package is also available as a two-disc
DVD set.
—Mark Kernes
Another Kind of Finishing School Constance Money takes
lessons from Jaqueline Beudant and Jamie Gillis.