Page 32 - AVN Intimate Spring 2018

FEATURE
Fun and Funner
Novel products from the AVN Novelty Expo
Every year at the AVN Novelty Expo, someone comes up with something more interesting, and more ridiculous, than the
previous year. In search of goofball sex products, I had no problem finding more than a few that were fun ... and funner.
Breast in Show
Here’s a great way to prevent
carpal tunnel syndrome!
Perfect for the breast man, the
Jesse Jane mouse pad features
built-in boobs that cushion the
wrist. A great convo piece that
will get people talking—about
Jesse Jane’s enhanced boobies!
“Jesse Jane was an obvious
choice to revive the concept of the
mouse pad, and this one is the best I’ve
ever used,” says Rebecca Weinberg, general manager of XR
Brands. “Her gel cushion cleavage feels just as soft as the real thing,
and adds great support for your wrist. Jesse Jane will be a great asset to
anyone’s office decor.” We’d love to see one of these things at the doctor’s office.
The mouse pad is $12.50 wholesale, and is part of a larger collection of products
associated with the adult star. Queries can be made to rebecca@xrbrands.com.
Point and Stick
The Dick Stick is basically a huge dick
on a stick. It’s for someone who wants
to bend someone else over, and let the
stick do all the work. “The dick stick
concept was created because
there is nothing quite like
it on the market,” says XR
Brands’ Weinberg. She says it
was created for BDSM pup/sub
play. “The pups will be begging
for this thing,” she joked. “It can also
double as a sexy pointer during your
next presentation,” she told us. Plus, the
toy rod is so huge it becomes fodder for dick
jokes: “Look at this thing; it’s the fourth
size of penis: Small, Medium, Large, and
‘OMG I think you just tore me a new one.’”
The Dick Stick expands to 42 inches and is
$34.98 wholesale from XR Brands’ Play Hard
collection.
Grin and Don’t Bare It
So, what’s going on in Lithuania? Merkins are huge there. Who knew?
Merkins.eu has more than 300 styles of what they call a “vagina wig” or a
“downstairs toupee,” so obviously someone is buying these things.
Merkins go back to the 1400s, when prostitutes used them after they shaved
their bushes to avoid getting lice. Today, “Merkins are used by go-go dancers,
in strip clubs, as novelty gifts, and in sex games when a genital hair piece can
add to the fun,” explains the company.
Dang, I wanna play with the cute red kitty one and the smiley face one.
They even have a heart one. And thanks for the arrow-pointing-downwards
one they gave me at the expo, because I can’t wait to shave my pubes, put that
baby on and parade around for the boyfriend so he can have a good laugh.
These things would also be a hit at Burning Man, for all the naked ladies
who want to go bare but don’t want to show too much of their merch. They
would sell out of these wacky, sexy things, actually, if people were allowed to
sell stuff at Burning Man. Check out the options at Merkins.eu.
32 | INTIMATE | SPRING 2018
No More Bad Dick Pics
Soraya Doolbaz calls herself a “professional dick photographer.”
An Iranian living in New York City, she says that when she
was single she received a lot of “really bad dick pics.” Inspired by
how horrible they looked, she was inspired to take her own dick
pics. She started off buying doll clothes at WalMart to dress up
the dicks, and soon started getting paid for her work. “I thought
it would be funny to treat dick pics like a high fashion photo
shoot,” she says, “so I put clothes on the penises and the rest is
history.” (She notes that gay guys take the most dick pics.)
Her “Dicture” business includes framed artwork (shown at Art
Basel) and a line of novelty Dicture products: mugs and party
supplies, including paper plates and cups that people buy for
bachelorette parties.
The secret to a good dick pic, she says, is “lighting, the angle,
and boner quality.” She encourages couples to bring their own
fluffer for the shoot.
“My goal with this
was to make people
laugh. I wanted to
create comfort and
confidence around
sexuality for men and
women. Men should
be proud of their dick
regardless of its size
or characteristics.”
A good dick pic for
couples, she says, “is a
sort of ‘Hey, how you
doing, I’m thinking of
you’ kind of text from your partner. I’m hoping to bring back that
equality through dick art. And an end to bad dick pics.”
Explore the state of the art in penis portraiture at Dicture.com.