Page 56 - AVN March 2021

Like a lot of small business owners who have to stay in touch internationally, we
saw the pandemic coming. AVN 2020 was so much fun when we reconnected
in Vegas and then came to Los Angeles to shoot, but almost as soon as we
got home to London, things began shutting down around the world, and we
knew that we’d have to rely on things that were already “in the can,” which
meant editing and releasing sessions and scenes with girls that we’d already
shot. We had to make them last!
Things are still much more locked down here than they are in the States.
In fact, as I write this there is talk of compulsory COVID tests in some of the
boroughs of London, where officials knock on your door and test everyone
inside. Not the best atmosphere for a porn shoot. So we wait.
And we collect the nudes that people send us. I’m going to let my husband,
Gazzman, talk about that.
“The closest I have ever come to being a hot girl is the number of unsolicited
dick pics I get,” says Gazzman. “I’ve been a porn director for decades so I’m
around dicks all the time. Even women who are dicks. But when you’re locked
down in the ice and snow and eating your tinned beans, the last thing you want
to do is open up your email to pictures of the willies of men who want to get
in the porn business.”
It’s true, Gazzman. I don’t want you looking at dicks, either. If someone has
to look at them, I will. Despite your decades of service to the adult industry, it
is heterosexual women who have the stomach to look at so many dicks.
But as things open up a little, then close down again, and then we get a
vaccine, but then we get hit with COVID variants, we’re keeping our relationships
with performers alive through platforms like AVNStars, which Gazzman likes to
say is “customer-facing to keep me vertically integrated.”
The industry is going to return, but it has no option than to be different than it
was before this break—and yes, I know there hasn’t been a worldwide industry
shutdown, but it has been interrupted to such a degree that people have left
the business because of it as well as there are now people in the industry who
have only performed during a pandemic.
Can you imagine? A whole year without gangbangs? A year of all these solo
masturbation scenes or—shocking!—two-person scenes?
I don’t know about you, but I have a feeling there’s going to be gangbangs in
the streets when everyone is vaccinated, and I want to be there to film them.
They’re going to have to lay tarps down in the road. And you know what else?
People will be lining the street to watch the gangbangs like they’re greeting
soldiers coming back from WWII. People will be so happy to see the gangbangs
that they will appear wholesome.
“What did you do in the Great London Gangbang of 2021, Granny?”
“I don’t quite remember, but I didn’t need a dick pic.”
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