Page 84 - AVN March 2018

FEATURE | By Anka Radakovich
FEATURE | AVN NOVELTY EXPO
FUN AND FUNNER
Novel products from the AVN Novelty Expo
Every year at the AVN Novelty Expo, someone comes up with something more interesting, and more ridiculous, than the previous year. In search of
goofball sex products, I had no problem finding more than a few that were fun ... and funner.
Breast in Show
Here’s a great way to prevent carpal
tunnel syndrome! Perfect for the
breast man, the Jesse Jane mouse
pad features built-in boobs that
cushion the wrist. A great
convo piece that will get
people talking—about Jesse
Jane’s enhanced boobies!
“Jesse Jane was an
obvious choice to revive
the concept of the mouse
pad, and this one is the best
I’ve ever used,” says Rebecca
Weinberg, general manager of XR
Brands. “Her gel cushion cleavage
feels just as soft as the real thing, and adds great support for
your wrist. Jesse Jane will be a great asset to anyone’s office decor.”
We’d love to see one of these things at the doctor’s office.
The mouse pad is $12.50 wholesale, and is part of a larger collection of products
associated with the adult star. Queries can be made to rebecca@xrbrands.com.
Point and Stick
The Dick Stick is basically a huge
dick on a stick. It’s for someone
who wants to bend someone else
over, and let the stick do all the
work. “The dick stick concept
was created because there is
nothing quite like it on
the market,” says XR
Brands’ Weinberg. She
says it was created
for BDSM pup/sub
play. “The pups will be
begging for this thing,”
she joked. “It can also double
as a sexy pointer during your
next presentation,” she told
us. Plus, the toy rod is so huge
it becomes fodder for dick jokes:
“Look at this thing; it’s the fourth
size of penis: Small, Medium, Large,
and ‘OMG I think you just tore me a
new one.’”
The Dick Stick expands to 42
inches and is $34.98 wholesale from
XR Brands’ Play Hard collection.
Grin and Don’t Bear It
So, what’s going on in Lithuania? Merkins are huge there. Who knew?
Merkins.eu has more than 300 styles of what they call a “vagina wig” or a
“downstairs toupee,” so obviously someone is buying these things.
Merkins go back to the 1400s, when prostitutes used them after they shaved
their bushes to avoid getting lice. Today, “Merkins are used by go-go dancers, in
strip clubs, as novelty gifts, and in sex games when a genital hair piece can add
to the fun,” explains the company.
Dang, I wanna play with the cute red kitty one and the smiley face one. They
even have a heart one. And thanks for the arrow-pointing-downwards one they
gave me at the expo, because I can’t wait to shave my pubes, put that baby on
and parade around for the boyfriend so he can have a good laugh.
These things would also be a hit at Burning Man, for all the naked ladies who
want to go bare but don’t want to show too much of their merch. They would
sell out of these wacky, sexy things, actually, if people were allowed to sell stuff
at Burning Man. Check out the options at Merkins.eu.
No More Bad Dick Pics
Soraya Doolbaz calls herself a “professional dick photographer.” An Iranian living in
New York City, she says that when she was single she received a lot of “really bad
dick pics.” Inspired by how horrible they looked, she was inspired to take her own
dick pics. She started off buying doll clothes at WalMart to dress up the dicks, and
soon started getting paid for her work. “I thought it would be funny to treat dick pics
like a high fashion photo shoot,” she says, “so I put clothes on the penises and the
rest is history.” (She notes that gay guys take the most dick pics.)
Her “Dicture” business includes framed artwork (shown at Art Basel) and a line of
novelty Dicture products: mugs and party supplies, including paper plates and cups
that people buy for bachelorette parties.
The secret to a good dick pic, she says, is “lighting, the angle, and boner quality.”
She encourages couples to
bring their own fluffer for the
shoot.
“My goal with this was
to make people laugh. I
wanted to create comfort and
confidence around sexuality
for men and women. Men
should be proud of their
dick regardless of its size or
characteristics.” A good dick
pic for couples, she says, “is a
sort of ‘Hey, how you doing,
I’m thinking of you’ kind of
text from your partner. I’m
hoping to bring back that
equality through dick art.
And an end to bad dick pics.”
Explore the state of the
art in penis portraiture at
Dicture.com.
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