Page 59 - AVN Januray 2017

SIT AND SPIN
A couples’ guide to ‘porniture’
THE HISTORY OF THE
MODERN-DAY SEX CHAIR
CAN BE ATTRIBUTED TO
KING EDWARD VII, WHO VISITED A PARISIAN
BROTHEL AS A YOUNG
PRINCE IN 1864 AND
ENDED UP HAVING A
THREESOME.
WANT TO BE MORE ADVENTUROUS and athletic in bed but don’t want to
end up in a neck brace? Try some sex furniture, aka “Porniture.” Sex
therapists highly recommend sex chairs, couches and wedges to their
patients because they make women feel more comfortable and less
inhibited. The chairs tilt the pelvis and support your back and neck,
so you can have sex like you’re in a porn movie without being hauled
out on a stretcher. The new sex chairs are designed to look like “real”
furniture, so you don’t have to frantically hide the thing in the closet
right before your mother-in-law comes over.
A Brief Oral History of the Sex Chair
The history of the modern-day sex chair can be attributed to King
Edward VII, who visited a Parisian brothel as a young prince in 1864
and ended up having a threesome. The pervy Prince ordered a chair
for his next visit and the “Siege D’Amour,” or “Love Seat,” was born.
Edward’s fun new chair was a real “shaggin’ wagon,” engineered to
assist with positions previously unattainable to anyone not in the
circus.
The sex throne lives on and a replica is on display at the Sex
Machine Museum in Prague, a museum of “mechanical erotic
appliances, the purpose of which is to bring pleasure and allow
extraordinary and unusual positions during intercourse.”
It also made brief appearances at the Musée D’Orsay in Paris
during an exhibit on the history of prostitution, and at the Van Gogh
Museum in Amsterdam. A second reproduction of the chair can be
found in the “Edwardian Room” on the Upper Floor at bondage porn
studio Kink.com in San Francisco. On a recent visit to Kink’s fetish
porn studios, I saw the chair during a tour of the studio’s bondage
sets. The set decor was Downton Abbey meets S&M dungeon with
intense torture devices, framed oil paintings of people getting tied
up, “spanking benches,” and a wall of really fucking scary whips and
chains. The chair, I was told, is “the best seat in the house.”
Liberator: ‘The Greatest Invention Since the Bed’
The idea of the sex chair hasn’t changed much since then, and today
sex chairs double as outdoor patio furniture, and become a couple’s
secret porniture. Liberator has led the way for more than 12 years
with their wedges, ramps and cubes made from foam rubber gone
wild.
Anka Radakovich is a legendary sex columnist who wrote a groundbreaking column for
Details magazine. Currently she writes for British GQ and Sexpert.com. She is the author
of three books, including her newest, The Wild Girls Club, Part 2. She has appeared
multiple times on TV talk shows, including eight appearances with Conan O’Brien. She
is also a certified sexologist. We are thrilled to have her as a contributor. Follow Anka
Radakovich on Twitter: @ankarad.
When George Clooney’s character in the
Coen brothers film Burn After Reading breaks
up with his girlfriend, he takes a piece of sex
furniture called “The Liberator Ramp” as if
it’s the only thing he wants to keep from the
relationship.
The company calls their products the
“greatest invention since the bed” and have
inspired many knock-offs since then. One of
the original Liberator products, the Cube, is
a square piece used for doggie style. The idea
of this thing is to lift the “dogee’s” ass up for
proper rear-end penetration. An employee
from Liberator’s massive flagship store in
Atlanta told me that some of their employees
road tested the cube, and once word got
around that it worked, employees began
coming into work reporting that they “got
cubed last night.” He also told me I “could
reach a new level of oooh.” The company now
has another product, the Flip Ramp, which can
be used as a square pedestal shape or can be
opened up into a ramp for reclining positions.
(For information, see Liberator.com.)
The ‘Essence of Sex’ Chair
Kevin Jensen, an architect and contractor in
Northern California, thought about designing
a sex chair that would look undetectable in
his indoor/outdoor home. “It was a better
aesthetic choice than the stripper pole my
wife wouldn’t let me put in the living room,”
he says. The Revel “Essence chair,” a cross
between Danish and California mid-century
modern, was conceived in his garage. “When
I finished the prototype, my wife and I just
threw a blanket on it and had sex right there
in the garage. Afterwards, we knew we were
on to something.”
The chair was engineered with a rolling
mechanism that allows it to move up and
down, which helps with the ol’ in and out.
It moves and grooves thanks to a sliding rail
and ball bearings. Jensen’s first customer was
a neighbor, an ER doctor who appreciated
TECH NEWS
the chair’s ergonomic and therapeutic design.
His second customer was a prince in Dubai.
(The chairs are big in Dubai now.) Jenson’s
California neighbors call him “the sex chair
dude.” (For more, go to RevelFurniture.com.)
The Sexy Tantric Sex Chair
The “Tantra Chair” is made to “enhance the
lovemaking experience by changing the angle
of the pelvis and simplifying the execution
of hundreds of positions of The Kama Sutra,”
say its makers, Zen by Design. They promise
the chair will facilitate “various positions
previously difficult to achieve.”
The wavy curvature creates “lower back
support and spinal alignment.” The company
started out by making meditation chairs
for Deepak Chopra, the Dalai Lama, and
“thousands of Buddhist Monks,” who are still
meditating on whether to get a sex chair.
Their “how it works” Tantric Chair
“film” shows a couple doing it super slow,
tantric style, a technique used to avoid
premature ejaculation and delay orgasm.
They demonstrate how to use the chair by
simulating sex in various positions. The sex
chair tape effectively uses sex sells advertising
by combining super slo-mo soft-core tantric
porn with furniture shopping. The marketing
concept here is to have couples watch the tape
for two minutes so they will be prematurely
asking where they can get one of these things.
(For more, see TantraChair.com.)
AVN Adult Entertainment Expo attendees can
learn more about Liberator at a demonstration
held on the stage of the Joint in the Hard Rock
Hotel & Casino on January 18 at 6:30 p.m. Trade
attendees can go to the AVN Novelty Expo to see sex
positioning products from Liberator, Vivian Tech and
Love Box. For more information, see NoveltyExpo.
com.
SEXPLORATIONS | By Anka Radakovich
1.17 | AVN.com | 59